


|12th of Never|

by honeycrvz



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:31:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11232027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeycrvz/pseuds/honeycrvz
Summary: I'll still be loving you.





	|12th of Never|

_You ask how much I need you, must I explain?_  
_I need you, oh my darling, like roses need rain. You ask how long I'll love you; I'll tell you true: Until the 12th of never, I'll still be loving you._

It was late and cold.  
Most would find themselves asleep, catching up on the energy lost after the last expedition. You didn't know what you were planning on doing but going back to bed, restless, wasn't one.  
You felt along the stone walls, only flickering candles lighting the way, your feet shuffled along quietly yet quickly.  
It was faint at first, thinking it was your steps, but when you stopped, the sound, was a sort of sniffling.  
You carefully looked around the corner, not ready for what you'd find, but all the same curious.  
The yellow glow illuminated the streams on his cheeks that followed from his eyes to his neck, his brows furrowed in a way as he supported his lean on the wall. You couldn't look away for some reason. Ever since Eren's ability was discovered, you took a step back, caution and doubt flooded your feelings for your comrade. He had turned rouge once, almost killing Mikasa. His intentions had always been true, but if he could do that to his own sister, what would he do to you?  
But now, your eyes studied his vulnerable state. Slowly you came around the corner, making sure that if you weren't wanted you could make a fast exit, but he was still. And as you got closer you saw his hand covering his mouth, eyes wide in terror and staring at nothing but the wall.

 _Hold me close, never let me go._  
_Hold me close; melt my heart like April snow._

Then he began to laugh, then cry, then hyperventilate. You were stuck, frozen in fear. Should you go get Armin? He'd know what to do right? You take a small step back.  
"No, please, don't... leave."  
His voice was so weak and yet it yearned.  
He crumpled into himself, like he was hiding in a shell. You felt guilty, like you had made it worse. Instead of running and trying to get his friend, you cautiously came closer. His sobs didn't stop nor did they escalate. You knelt down to him, as slow as you could.  
"It's me, (F/n). What happened? Are you hurt?"  
He shook his head.  
You tried to get his breathing back to normal, but it was difficult. You managed to distract him, something that would keep his thoughts away from whatever triggered his anxieties, you talked about the only thing you could, the past, when it was a better time.  
"I also remember when you tried to throw me in the lake, that didn't go as planned did it?"  
He sniffed then let out a chuckle.  
"Feels like ages ago huh?"  
Your lips turn upwards for a second, but long enough for Eren to see. He knew deep down you were scared of him; the distance you put yourself at was for your own safety. He couldn't blame you though, if he could, he would have done the same.  
"Do you want to go somewhere more private? I mean to talk of course, but um, I always find it more helpful to vent about stuff," You say, standing and waiting for him to follow.  
He hesitates for a moment, then drys his puffy eyes. You know it would be bad if you let Eren go alone tonight, he might do this to himself again or even worse...  
"We can come to my room. I'm the only one on my floor and I have a room with a window," with a smile you take Eren's arm and help him up.  
"You really don't have to do this (F/n), everyone has their problems; I don't want to pile mine onto yours..."  
You slid your hand to his wrist, "I don't think neither one of us will be able to sleep for a while, we can catch up, you know?"  
He wouldn't admit it but he was relieved.  
After unlocking your door a cool breeze swept the curtains of the window letting the bright moon illuminate the room.  
"Make yourself comfortable, Jaeger."  
"Jaeger now? Like trainee days?"  
"Yeah. But better since we're older and still alive."  
He chuckled once again and sat on the bed.  
"I don't know if you're comfortable taking about what happened, and maybe I'm not the person you want hearing it but I think this isn't some spring of the moment outcry. Eren, what's going on? Is there something-"  
"Do you ever feel like everyday is worse than before? Like it's never going to get better?"  
You looked at him, his eyes watching the floor.  
"I've got this curse, but sometimes I don't think of it that way. It's so contradicting when you're the thing everyone hates but then their only hope."  
"Eren..."  
"And, So many have died, so many I can't bring back I just wonder if I'm really... worth it."  
"Of course you are!"  
The fleeting words escape before you could even stop them. Eren looked at you; taken aback by the statement.  
"I don't think you know this Eren but you are one of the most valuable people on this earth, and not because of your ability, but because of the person you are without it. You're the most determined, selfless, and courageous man I know!"  
You sit on the bed next to him, so he could consider the words coming from your heart.  
"You don't give yourself enough credit Jaeger, and you've done more for humanity than the goddesses themselves."  
He smiled, a sublime smile that made your cheeks flare.  
"Then I'm... glad you're not afraid of me anymore."  
Regret washed over you as all the times you avoided the man came in memory. Your throat clenched and your eyes stung. You couldn't believe the effects of your actions. In a wave of emotion threw your arms around his neck, in a sequence his back fell on the bed and you buried your head in his neck.  
"I'm so sorry I wasn't there, I was a coward when my comrade needed me. I shouldn't even ask for you to forgive me..."  
You looked at him threw teary vision, but all the same he was Angelic.  
His hair disheveled but mesmeric. His eyes captivating yours and you both drunk each other in. He blinked lightly as your tears dropped to his cheeks. Your hair was just as messy as but it framed your face so well.  
The all consuming tension sparked so much at once that you two were engulfed in a starved kiss.  
His chapped lips were rough against your soft ones. Sharp inhales filled the room as you climbed on top of him, yet he didn't waste a second for closer contact. Putting his large hands on your back, he sat straight up.  
Your chest touches his and hips almost magnetically coming closer. One hand slid into your hair making your spine tingle in delight whiles this other grazed your cheek.  
But you couldn't get enough of him. Your fists clenched in his shirt; wanting nothing more than to make for lost time.  
"(F/n), I-"  
"I missed you too, Eren."  
Before it had never been romantic but maybe now because you were both more mature, more acclimated to this world you cherished each other so. You both took time in the others pleasure, never being selfish.  
But somehow the kisses turned into a gentle caress where your limbs tangled with his and his taller form lazily protected you.  
The crying you both has done tonight worn you two out. And His gentle snores above you lulled you to sleep...

 _I'll love you till the bluebells forget to bloom;_  
_I'll love you till the clover has lost it's perfume._  
_I'll love you till the poets run out of rhyme, Until the 12th of never, and that's a long, long time._

**Author's Note:**

> ¡thanks for reading!


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